#1 By the Detroit Tigers NOT pulling their swagger cart along, instead allowing Brad Ausmus to dump us like dead weight along the highway. Geesh.

And we will begin there, because the Tigers are the perfect indictment as to everything wrong in baseball, prolifically the American League.

Donde Esta?

Donde Esta?

What happened to this guy? Didn’t I beat it to death all year, explain it well?!??! It’s a madhouse in sports right now. I am trained in Calculus and am pretty alright at math, and even I know the statistical revolution is in overkill.

Too many 3’s. Too much passing in football. And no small ball with a reliance on power too much in baseball. Hockey just needs to stop letting the best skaters get beat up so bad they can’t compete. No one likes the Blackhawks.

#2 Houston Astros

Way to show up, boys. The series in your hands, up big in game four… what a choke. Fuck you, Houston.

#3 Toronto Blue Jays

Talk about blowing it. These inept morons left more runners on base last night than a college kid at a party who passes out before hooking up. Goddamn. They began the game very unswagging by stranding a leadoff double, then proceeded to follow that suit all night long.

Dave Price dominated, but to no run support. And at the end, with men on first and third AND NO OUTS, they couldn’t bring the runner home.

WHY?!?!? WHAT’S THE SECRET? I don’t know, what is a sac fly? What is a bunt? WHAT’S SMALL BALL??? Look at the home run happy Jays and Cubs: unable to compete in a seven game series.