It’s a shame there will be no racist comments about the Indians going into battle – tempting?


This affair was not a pitcher’s duel. Kyle Ryan nor Trevor Bauer reached the 4th inning. The Tigers worked the hell out of Bauer, starting in the 1st.

After getting men on the corners thanks to Miguel Cabrera rocketing Ian Kinsler from first to third on a base hit, it looked bleak with Victor Martinez wasting the pivotal second out. Then, Yoenis Cespedes stepped up and donged a double right down the foul line, scoring Kinsler. Big Cat hustled home, too, but a challenge put him back on third, where we left him.

That exhausting opening was repeated the following inning. Andrew Romine led off with another double toeing the right field line, a seemingly just reward for taking Big Cat’s run away. Jose Iglesias reached on an infield single too hot for the third basemen. And Romine would eventually score in a 29-pitch frame for the 2-0 lead.

At this point, Sideburns Ryan was doing fine. Two smooth innings set up Yoenis Cespedes to lead off the 3rd, where he sent an insane line drive over the wall – it never looked like he hit it that hard. But nonetheless, it was 3-0. It was the bottom of the 3rd that fucked Ryan. After letting a man on with a walk, three more hits actually tied up a game we worked damn hard to score three times in.

But before demoralization fully sank it, the bats were back on it. Detroit pounded Bauer and Cleveland for four more runs in the 4th. We almost batted around, chasing their starter on nine hits, four walks, and seven runs. So that has to be enough for Ryan, right? Wrong.

Kyle loaded them up with two outs the very next inning. I’ll finally credit our manager for making the right choice: he yanked sideburns and sent in Blaine Hardy, who ended the threat on a fly out to right. So, five more innings, starters gone – time for more scoring, right? No!

After taking 99 pitches through four innings, we chopped the tally in half for four straight scoreless frames. There is no more doubt in my mind after keeping track all game long that when we take pitches no one can stop us offensively. We are simply too strong collectively. But we don’t favor the walk! Cabrera was so bent when they walked him with the bases loaded, even though he’d walked in a run. This egoic mentality reminds me of David & Goliath, so let’s balance ourselves out and accept the free pass before some small ball snarfs chop our heads off. Capiche?

Otherwise we’ll be stuck in no-man’s land. We’ve gotten too fearful for our opponents to serve us up that many strikes, and this is the ultimate sign of respect. It took Barry Bonds’ body armor and gallon of steroids just to achieve what our wonder’s are doing naturally. Let’s embrace it and use it to our advantage.

Hardy was a deserved winner in this game. He finished the 5th and 6th innings flawlessly. Guardians entered the 7th, and despite an on-base error from Iglesias, “The Dirt Devil” turned two the very next play. A 7-3 lead was handed to Joba Chamberlain. He got behind on several three ball counts and cost us a run on a solo shot.

So, the offense went back to work in the top of the ninth. Cespedes completed a 3-3 game with a leadoff single on a night where he also sacrifice flied and was hit by a pitch. HE COULD NOT BE STOPPED. Again, on a weaker fly ball by Romine, Cespedes tagged and used his blazing speed to beat the throw. An important insurance run indeed.

Our closer finished the Indians (so racist…) off. But, he allowed a solo home run, too, making that 8th run all the more important. An 8-5 final completed an almost four hour battle on the road.