Somebody, Stop Me
Call me when you wake up, NHL. There used to be a time (and these viewers aren’t going anywhere if you go get them) when the NHL was one of the “Big 4.” The problem is Gary Bettman. The NHL stopped broadcasting games on major networks, failing to invest like the NBA, NFL, and MLB. Furthermore, as notably illustrated by the R [...]
Congratulations, you earned it. Those road wins in the Big Ten weren’t easy, nor were any games in the best conference on earth.
If you were a G and lived in 90′s, let’s go back: The greatest music video genius of all time (sorry, Kanye) is Puff Daddy, accountably accompanied by Ma$e and the late B.I.G. #1A #1B #1C Goddamn. First of all, his dancing swag. Such a nice style he uses, the snap-and-jig. Genius. And to be real, I respect that he dances in his [...]
“The Mask” stormed Miami with 61 points vs. Charlotte tonight. LBJ was in the zone, felling himself behind that mask. James netted 8 of 10 threes, including back-to-back which he concluded from around 30-feet.
His voice is sooo nasally. Andre Drummond tuned out his nasally coach for 26 rebounds, a career-high. It was the most by a Bad Boy since ’02, when “Big” Ben Wallace snagged 28. The Pistons outplayed New York the entire second half, turning a five-point halftime deficit into a double-digit win. Will Bynum secured the game wit [...]
Vinny del N was very strong, however, Doc Rivers is stronger. Rivers’ presence has single-handedly changed the Clippers from second-round snarfs to legitimate Western Conference Contenders. The additions of Glen “Big Baby” Davis and Danny Granger show NBAers want to play for us now. DeAndre Jordan has grown into a top ten ce [...]
Rest that calf until it’s ready, G.
You are terrible. Stop writing. If your family loves you, they will get you help. And hair. Seriously, you bald snarf – wtf?
(Sandra Bullock doing somersaults in space:) “Whooa. Whooooa. Whoooooa.” (Repeat.)
PARTY ALL NIGHT LONG! (I gotta say this: I am SO MUTHER FUCKING PROUD OF THESE MOVIES. I DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS, BUT I’M ANGRY AT THESE OLD, WHITE, CONSERVATIVE FAGGOTS. Please, know the definition: I LOVE GAY FAGS. I WOULD NEVER USE FAGGOT VS. GAY PEOPLE. I ADORE GAY PEOPLE. JUST LIKE BLACKS. WE WON THESE OSCARS, GODDAMIT!) If tha [...]