The Tigers: maybe the best team in Detroit history has YET to win a ring. Meanwhile, division mate Kansas City hoists the World Series trophy and back-to-back AL Pennants.

The Lions: bye, Megatron. Detroit continues to be pessimistic about their football team, despite having the best QB in the NFL and an array of talent.

The Red Wings: probably our strongest hope, we are amazing overall but again backdooring our way into the playoffs, forcing strong play down the stretch. Scary.

The Pistons: Detroit’s longest playoff drought impacts it’s basketball team. Maybe the best example of how white flight has impacted our teams, we reside in the suburbs of Auburn Hills instead of the city.

MY POINT IS WE ARE ACTUALLY EXTREMELY CAPABLE OF WINNING RIGHT NOW SO STOP PRETENDING THIS ISN’T GO TIME, DETROIT! DEMAND RESULTS AND ACCEPT NOTHING LESS THAN A WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP B/C YOU ARE SO WORTHY!