Snarf (snärf): A humorous occurrence and/or person, specifically one relating to the world of sport

More Greatness from Billy W.

How blessed are we? Bill Walton is announcing this whole fucking Maui tournament! (Or so it seems!)

Here are some gems I took down during his broadcasting of Chaminade-UNLV:

  • At 6-1, minutes into action: “Let’s just call the game and give it to Chaminade right now.” Other announcer: Really?
  • “Throw it down one time big man. Tenacious.”
  • After a poor G collided his head with the defender’s knee: “That will affect him the rest of his life. I remember my first of 14 broken noses.”
  • “That’s what life is all about. Can you bounce back?”
  • “This game is a bit ragged.” Other A: Well said.
  • On Jerry Tarkanian’s autobiography (which he only read b/c he had to): “Put it at the top of your list. It’ll change your life.”
  • “Careless fouls. Why? You have to let the game just go – run and jump.”
  • “Another really talented Canadian basketball player.”
  • “Love the pace of this game.” (Right after he complained about it, it’s a plodding 21-18 score so far.)
  • “Literally changed Eric O’Brien’s life,” (Context unknown.)
  • On UNLV not “running:” “They’re the running rebels! You gotta come to work every single day.”
  • Passionately: “You cannot have a bounce pass in that instance – hit him right in the chest.”
  • “I’m a big believer in erosion.”
  • “HUGE throng of Rebel…”
  • Chaminades D looks more like a mirage.
  • Rambling about Chuck Hearn: “The way he would… Celtics… made you want to switch allegiances.”
  • “Mark this day down”
  • On UNLV right before the half: “I don’t see the emotional spark.”
  • Upon seeing an image of it: “The banyan tree – world’s largest”
  • “Drives. Slashes. Set-ups.”
  • “Never discount the power of luck. I’ve got my special coin.”
  • On Nancy Lieberman: “Groundbreaker of a woman.”
  • “Always get that smooth, safe ride with Continentals. I love ’em.”
  • Kevin Hu is a beautiful basketball player.”
  • “How do the sea turtles know what time it is?” “They don’t care. At all”
  • “The pass was late – the pass was soft and slow.”
  • On this snarf who bikes around Hawaii shirtless, no sunscreen, no shoes every day: “Thank you for a lifetime of inspiration.”
  • “Ben Carter right now playing like a combination of Bill Russell and Hakeem Olajuwon.”
  • Now that UNLV is winning big:”There’s nothing that Chaminade can do about this.” “Futility.”
  • Something about the 4th level of learning.
  • “Maui sunglasses… made with rare Earth minerals that Maui Jim uses.” Dude is wearing his fucking shades during the whole broadcast – indoors, of course.
  • “Most futility in the history of the NBA? Sixers.”
  • “Eric Bovaird. My hero. Inspiring dreams. Thank you.” Upon conclusion of the aforementioned coach being blown out.

God bless you Bill Walton, and have a nice day.

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