How blessed are we? Bill Walton is announcing this whole fucking Maui tournament! (Or so it seems!)

Here are some gems I took down during his broadcasting of Chaminade-UNLV:

  • At 6-1, minutes into action: “Let’s just call the game and give it to Chaminade right now.” Other announcer: Really?
  • “Throw it down one time big man. Tenacious.”
  • After a poor G collided his head with the defender’s knee: “That will affect him the rest of his life. I remember my first of 14 broken noses.”
  • “That’s what life is all about. Can you bounce back?”
  • “This game is a bit ragged.” Other A: Well said.
  • On Jerry Tarkanian’s autobiography (which he only read b/c he had to): “Put it at the top of your list. It’ll change your life.”
  • “Careless fouls. Why? You have to let the game just go – run and jump.”
  • “Another really talented Canadian basketball player.”
  • “Love the pace of this game.” (Right after he complained about it, it’s a plodding 21-18 score so far.)
  • “Literally changed Eric O’Brien’s life,” (Context unknown.)
  • On UNLV not “running:” “They’re the running rebels! You gotta come to work every single day.”
  • Passionately: “You cannot have a bounce pass in that instance – hit him right in the chest.”
  • “I’m a big believer in erosion.”
  • “HUGE throng of Rebel…”
  • Chaminades D looks more like a mirage.
  • Rambling about Chuck Hearn: “The way he would… Celtics… made you want to switch allegiances.”
  • “Mark this day down”
  • On UNLV right before the half: “I don’t see the emotional spark.”
  • Upon seeing an image of it: “The banyan tree – world’s largest”
  • “Drives. Slashes. Set-ups.”
  • “Never discount the power of luck. I’ve got my special coin.”
  • On Nancy Lieberman: “Groundbreaker of a woman.”
  • “Always get that smooth, safe ride with Continentals. I love ’em.”
  • Kevin Hu is a beautiful basketball player.”
  • “How do the sea turtles know what time it is?” “They don’t care. At all”
  • “The pass was late – the pass was soft and slow.”
  • On this snarf who bikes around Hawaii shirtless, no sunscreen, no shoes every day: “Thank you for a lifetime of inspiration.”
  • “Ben Carter right now playing like a combination of Bill Russell and Hakeem Olajuwon.”
  • Now that UNLV is winning big:”There’s nothing that Chaminade can do about this.” “Futility.”
  • Something about the 4th level of learning.
  • “Maui sunglasses… made with rare Earth minerals that Maui Jim uses.” Dude is wearing his fucking shades during the whole broadcast – indoors, of course.
  • “Most futility in the history of the NBA? Sixers.”
  • “Eric Bovaird. My hero. Inspiring dreams. Thank you.” Upon conclusion of the aforementioned coach being blown out.

God bless you Bill Walton, and have a nice day.