Dear ISIS,

Ever heard that song, “Why Don’t You Get a Job?” by the Offspring? Apparently, not. Or you’d stop being such gay-ass ninjas.

(For real, though: this is a very sad situation, and we respectfully send our hearts to those affected.)

There’s nothing wrong with stepping up and helping the have-nots. While ISIS is a pussy-ass, cowardly bully (who’s also full O’ Shit), it seems like much of this violence is born out of poverty and the struggle. While it’s completely misguided, it’s kind of alike a bratty kid lashing out.

If we just helped more people, you could eliminate most the support for these fags.