The Tigers bombed away in the official start of Spring Training baseball.

Leading off: The Fuckers from last season’s playoffs, the Orioles. Perfect way to put it behind us for a new year.

My dad and I were delighted to listen to the intro on Detroit’s radio station, only to have it interrupted by Jim Rome a few minutes in. We were so excited! Why don’t we let the kids into Disneyland for 30 seconds, then teleport them home? MLB.com wouldn’t even properly let us order the radio package.

I still followed us on the stat tracker. Kyle Lobstein got the start and the win, followed in order by Cabrera, Gorzelanny, Nathan, Zeid, Putkonen, and Dolis. There was one more snarf, he who allowed the final two runs in a game those pitchers shutout for eight innings. In total, we walked four and surrendered eight total hits, another great job.

Our lineup exploded in the 2nd inning. Ubaldo Jiminez took the mound for Baltimore, and it was a disaster. He led off the inning by plunking Nick Castellanos. Then, he walked Collins. Lennerton singled. Romine safely bunted. Jiminez made a throwing error on the bunt, then threw a wild pitch, letting a run in. Rajai singled, then Avila was hit by a pitch. CUE THE PITCHING CHANGE.

The next pitcher came in and faced Ian Kinsler, who promptly took him yard for a 7-0 Tigers start! It was a theme all game, they kept hitting and walking us. In the fourth, it went walk, walk, hit batter to load them up for Yoenis Cespedes. The new Tiger collected his first hit in a Detroit uniform by blasting a grand slam! 11-0 on four hits!

“All I can say is I did what I wanted to do,” Jimenez said.

Anthony Gose is Davis’ backup this year in center. He showed some speed today, stealing a base and hitting an RBI triple. 12-0. Finally, Aaron Westlake finished them off, a 6’4″ big honker of a prospect. After a hit by pitch, then a walk, Westlake cleared the bases with a third Detroit home run!

If there was ever a spring training game with payback on the line, this was it. We’re heading in opposite directions… Even with Joe Nathan… *Nathan came in for his one inning and got two quick outs. Then, he allowed two singles, ensuring our heart rates didn’t rest between seasons. Here… We… Go…!

(Third baseman Nick Castellanos was hit in the left hand and exited soon after that, but manager Brad Ausmus said he might play Wednesday,” (ESPN).