I know most sports writers get a free pass, but let’s fuck with ESPN. They need to heed what the player’s they telecast do: leave it on the field. That’s why Harbaugh needed to calm the fuck down. He had won. It’s a really agonizing, long, tough road through 60 minutes in the NFL, but you snarfs and your 800 monitors make it seem like Madden: ROMO IS REAL. In a game, like the Lions-49ers, you can play well, very well, unlike the San Frank Gores who are one-dimensional (see? losses are brutal), and still get gut-wrenched on 4th and Goal.

ESPN was sweet when I was growing up in the 90’s when Dan Patrick and decent snarfs only really showed well constructed highlights. Now, in a marketing attempt to cater to a 21st century on-demand intrusive People Magazine-world, you analyze players (who are in the fucking NFL – Any Given Sunday? Playmakers? Lawrence Taylor? Viking Sex Boat? We know they do these things! Millionaires people!) on an hourly 24 hour cycle, and end up beating the same simple headlines to death instead of being remotely creative. Showing us replays is actually appreciated.

Instead of wasting time arguing with Skip Bayless and not letting your facts sink in (i.e. Rob Parker, who was brilliantly trying to state how Gumbel was right about Stern’s owning these players and talking down to Dwyane Wade (this is the NFL this is the NBA the players are G’s) who stood up and said *HUFF POST “Speaking to NBC’s Darren Rovell on Saturday morning, Wade revealed that he hasn’t felt that the owners have shown they’re willing to meet the players half way during any of the many meetings between the sides. According to Chris Broussard, Fellow ESPN reporter Ric Bucher tweeted that a source informed him that Stern had been pointing his finger at the players while speaking. That is apparently when Wade shouted, “You’re not pointing your finger at me. I’m not your child.” Parker: don’t tell a grown man he can’t think for himself) just write out a timely take on a real matter. Like normal newspapers used to.

You are educating people, not telling them what to think. Facts are essentially the footage and statistics only. Let writer’s provide well-formed thoughts, don’t rush to desperately comment.